Academics

Skills: Creativity, interdisciplinary skills, writing, usage of Microsoft and Apple video recording/editing softwares

Here is a work I created by applying a gendered lens to an investigation of music and gaming in an art history course. This assignment required creative and writing skills, as well as an interdisciplinary approach to complete the personal statement and video piece.

Personal Statement:

As a gamer as well as a musician I wanted to learn to play a piece of music from The Last of Us as it gave me the chance to bring two parts of my life together. I find that there are a lot of crossovers between the two. Focusing on the personal aspects, for myself, I find that each pursuit gives me time to relax, get “out of my head”, and enter another world. When I am playing music, I experience a variety of creative and artistic possibilities and when I play a video game such as The Last of Us, I am transported into a detailed creation to achieve things that are oftentimes impossible in real life. Each pursuit is a lot of fun and contributes positively to my life however, as a woman, my gender intersects with each of these realms in ways that can cause stress, frustration, and disappointment. 

The issues of misogyny and the male gaze which plays out in ways such as a focus on what women wear, the sexualizing of women, and derogatory, prejudiced language aimed at female gamers/musicians are deeply impactful to women and girls who want to be able to explore these pursuits safely. On a macro level, these issues become impactful to all women and highlight larger societal issues in which many women are seen as less capable than men, are paid less than men, and are excluded/invisibilized in a variety of ways. In gaming we see this by there being few female characters overall and even fewer leading characters with major roles and language abilities, as well as the exclusion and overall mistreatment of women in the gaming industry/culture. In considering the connection between music and gaming, I found myself thinking about these issues facing women in both of these cultures.

I have experienced these issues firsthand while trying to play online with men who often make it a point to “prove” their masculinity in their language, tone, and strategy with female players. Often, I have chosen to mute my microphone rather than deal with the toxicity that online play can entail. Regardless of this, I still love to play video games and The Last of Us is one of my favourites. The imagery and music are part of my love of this game as each is haunting and showcases the artistry of video games and music combined. As a character, Ellie is the main one to me. Even if she is not given that title in the first installment of the game (she becomes a playable character in the second) she is funny, intelligent and strong throughout the first game. Ellie has grown up in a world full of terror and yet she still holds her humanity central to her being. She holds her own with the men around her and instigates interactions between characters. It only makes sense that gamers should be able to play as Ellie and I know I was disappointed that I was not able to during the first installment of the game. However, with the ability to play as Ellie during the second installment, I do wonder how many men would choose Ellie as their character? Do they feel comfortable with playing as a girl and do they give her the respect that she deserves?

In covering a song from the game, my project sought to highlight the vitality of music in the story of The Last of Us. Music plays an important role in the atmosphere creation and storytelling of The Last of Us series – From the beautiful soundtrack (composed and performed by Gustavo Santaolalla) to the in-game incorporation of guitar playing. Music plays a valuable role in Ellie’s development as a character. Music shapes Ellie’s relationship with Joel, as well as her relationships with other characters (such as Dina,) in their sharing of emotions through music. Ellie’s relationship with music changes throughout the series – the physical and emotional trauma she endures affects her interactions with music as the second game progresses. Ellie often uses the guitar to express her emotions in a way that I feel connected to – having a relationship with music is valuable to my creative expression which deepens the connection I feel with The Last of Us.